How To Develop Patience And Self-Control

If you want to know how to develop patience and self-control, you’ll have to first understand what patience is and how it affects many aspects of your life.

Being an understanding person and learning how to become more patient with others can improve your relationships. Having patience also helps you control your emotions.  

This article will discuss why self-control is essential and some activities to increase patience. Reading this article ’till the end is your first test of patience. 

Why is having patience necessary?

“Patience is a person’s ability to wait something out or endure something tedious, without getting riled up,” according to Vocabulary.

Patience can be interpreted in many ways, and interpersonal patience is necessary to maintain relationships. How you act to someone’s words or actions can make or break a relationship. Sometimes people lose self-control and say or do things they later regret, and that’s never good.

When your friend or a partner is struggling, being an understanding person and staying patient is more important than ever. And many fail to do it, which causes the downfall of their relationship.

An illustration showing man hugging a heart to illustrate being an understanding person and having patience for others.
Credits: Swanky Fella

Patience makes your attitude more positive and helps you face setbacks and challenges. Sometimes life puts hardships in your way, and patience is essential to get through it and achieve success.

Specific goals in life take time to achieve. An impatient person quits before reaching their goals and misses life’s opportunities. On the other hand, patience helps you stay dedicated to your goal, and you work hard no matter how long it takes.

Can you improve your patience?

Patience is an expression of deep understanding. It’s also a skill. Everyone has different levels of patience and self control, but you can train yourself to control your patience. However, unlike most skills, training yourself to have more patience is complicated. 


You’ll have to try different methods, and ironically you’ll have to be patient to improve your patience and self control.

How to be more patient

Here are a couple of tips we have prepared for you to improve your patience and self-control and become a more patient person. Let’s get started.

Know your strengths and weaknesses

First, you’ll have to know in which situations you have more control over your patience and when you lose patience quickly. 

Take a notebook and a pen, sit down and think about your day. Think about the past few incidents you can remember. Note when you acted like you didn’t want to because you weren’t patient. 

Now you have a list of your weaknesses and know which situations can make you lose patience. If similar incidents occur in the street, try to have more self-control than the last time. This way, you’ll slowly learn how to develop your patience and self control.

Play a nerve-racking game that tests your patience

Yep, you read that right. A video game can help you improve your patience and reaction time. Pick a video game that’s infuriating on purpose and try to play it without getting irritated. 

I recommend something like Getting Over It. It’s a game that really tests your patience. It has sent numerous people screaming on live streams over the years. You have to avoid doing precisely that. 

The game is a simple 2D game where you’re a man trapped in a pot, and you can move only by using a hammer to push yourself. But if you make a mistake sometimes, you can lose hours of progress from it. So play this game and try not to get frustrated. 

Here are our recommendations on games that can help you improve your focus and memory, such as Chess.


Be a good listener

This is one of the traits of a patient operation. Stop trying to explain yourself for a moment and try to understand what the other person is saying. 

This is what communication is all about – let everyone talk and understand what everyone is trying to say, then share your thoughts. You’ll learn how to be patient with people in the process. 

Change your perspective

This goes hand in hand with becoming a good listener. Sometimes you may disagree with a person. So what to do in that situation?

For starters, don’t be frustrated, and don’t lose your patience. Instead, try to step into their shoes and see it from their perspective. Of course, everyone’s worldview is different, and only some arguments can be resolved. If that is the case, keep self-control and accept it calmly. 

Accept the things you can’t change

Sometimes you have no choice but to accept things the way they are, and there’s nothing you can do to change them. The quicker you acknowledge that, the faster you can move on from it. 

An illustration of a super-man flying with a briefcase and a cape, to illustrate that you accept the things you cannot change and move on.
Credits: Swanky Fella

Don’t let the setbacks hold you, and stay calm through life’s little irritations. Accept your failures and focus on what you have to do next instead of losing your patience and giving up all hope.

It’s not worth spending your life in anxiety and worrying. Instead, you should be able to live in the moment and focus on good things.

Keep yourself busy

Sometimes you cannot help but feel stressed about something important or unimportant.

Something you’ve ordered is arriving, or something will happen, making you feel anxious and impatient? If it’s trivial, remind yourself that it won’t change anything in the long run, and you shouldn’t worry about it. On the other hand, keep yourself busy to get your mind off it if it’s something big.

An illustration showing three people being productive and working, with a lightbulb idea, as keeping yourself busy can lower the impatience.
Credits: Swanky Fella

Always remember that things will happen when they are supposed to happen. You can’t change it, and you’ll have to wait. Get in touch with your emotions.

Your order’s delivery date will not change to make it faster, but you will have to patiently wait for it. In the same way, you cannot force a promotion or childbirth, for example. Some things need to wait. To help you with impatience, why not try out some new fun hobbies, like reading? Or try writing in a journal or a blog; it can do wonders for your mental health. It will always keep you busy, and you won’t get impatient that often.

Closing thoughts

Patience takes a long time to build up but significantly helps your life. You can see that quality in strong men and women and great leaders worldwide. And they most probably weren’t born that way. However, ironically, you’ve got to be patient to become patient. 

A patient person is calm in every situation, giving them an edge in life. As a result, they can make better decisions and have self-control over everything.

Above mentioned tips can increase your patience significantly and transform you into a better person, colleague, and partner. But you’ll have to be patient for it to see the results. Make sure to read our guide on how to de-escalate a fight with your partner

Now that you know how to develop patience and self control, it’s time to start. Don’t give up on anything too early. Give your best, and I assure you positive changes in your life will follow.


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